TEACHER :Name the animal which live in water & land
STUDENT :Simple 'Frog'
TEACHER :Now name such 4 animal
STUDENT :Simple "Frog's mother,Frog's father,Frog's sister".:
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BREAKING NEWS..~Bazar-e-Hussun MeinAag lag gayee, Raat gaye Fire Brigade Ka
ammlay ne Aag per qabooo pa liya,Magar ammlay per qabooo abhi tak nahi paya ja
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Naukarani: malkan ap udaas kyun hai
Malkan: tumhare sahab office ki kisi larki se payyar karte hai
Naukarani: nahiiiiin, sahab mujhe dokha nahi de sakte.
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Man ask God " God Y U make women so BEAUTIFUL? God so that u can LUV her.
Men but Y u make her so STUPID? God says so that she can LUV U.......
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A priest saw a girl removing her blouse. The priest prayed: God, please close my eyes. When he opened his eyes, the girl was naked This time he prayed God please close your eyes.
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A convicted rapist was sentenced to a death penalty.he was 2 choose between being hanged or being injected with a seringe with HIV/AIDS blood.he choose to be injected with AIDS, after they have finished with him he never stoped laughing and they asked why r u laughing he just wispered and say i have put on a condom.
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Why women love gold more than men? Because gold has 24 carrot whereas man has only one carrot.
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What is the difference between secretary & private secretary? Ans: secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR & private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR.
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Difference b/w panties of 1970 & 2000 :- In the 70's you had to pull down panties to see the buttocks,In 2000, you have to seperate the buttocks to see the panties.
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Mother to her tennage daughter:
I think it's time that we should talk abt sex..
Daughter: Sure Mom!!, What u want to know?..canored
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Patient: Doctor aap ko yakeen hai ke mujhay Namoonia (pneumonia) hai, kyun ke pichlay dino aik doctor meri friend ka Namoonia ka ilaaj karta raha aur woh Typhoid say mar gayi.
Munna: Haan ray meray ko pakka yaqeen hai, tu namoonia say hi maray ga.
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Munna: Bolay to darad kahan hai aapko.
Patient(F): Pooray badan mien hai
Munna: Yeh kaisay ho sakta hai ray, kuch detail batao.
Patient: Tocuhes her right knee and says here, then touches her earlobe and says here, then touches her
left cheek and says here, etc.
Munna: Aesay hi khaali peeli tension de reli hai, teri finger mien dard hai.
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Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula ke laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat
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A guy donated blood to his girlfriend. After a while they broke up and he wanted it back. The girl threw a pad at him and said. i'll pay u back in monthly instalments.
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class me teacher lacture de raha tha, bachon ne dekha us ki zip khuli hui hai, bachay hansne lagay,
Teacher: kyun hans rahe ho, ab agar hansay ko bahir nikaal ke khara ker dunga.
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A 90 yr old man started making love with his 85 yr wife, he started sucking her breats and after few seconds the man expired, GUESS WHY?
Autoposy Report : death due to expired milk.
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Gal: Is dress ka kya price hai?
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss.
Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.
Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi.
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A Chinese man took his pregnant wife to the hospital tp deliver...
The wife however gave birth to a black baby. The Chinese man who was shocked named him: SOME TIN WONG....
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A story with moral
My girlfriend called me to her house one day. I went there & found her sister alone in the house. She was unbelievably sexythan my GF. She whispered in my ear, "I have feelings for you, make love to me once" I turned around & walked to thefront door towards my car. Amazingly I found my GF standing there & she hugged me & said, "U have won my trust."
Moral:
Its always better to keep the CuNDuMS in the car & not in the wallet!!.P.
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Last nite i had a dream abt U...
I saw tht v both were gettig married on the same day...
Ur wife was beautiful but mine is not...
I asked GOD:
Why it is so???
GOD replied:
"BALANCE OF NATURE"...!!!LKH...SHG
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Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey
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A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: Yes, I saw dad.
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An old to Doc: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.
Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down.
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Bahu: Maan ji, yeh abhi tak nahin aaye, kahin kisi dusri ladki ke saath...
Saas: Arey kalmuhi, tu hamesha ulta kyun sochti hai? Aisa bhi to ho sakta hai ki kisi truck ke neeche aa gaya hozaibi _____________________________________________________
Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.
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People who do lots of work.make lots of mistakes,
People who do less work.make less mistakes,
People who do no work.make no mistakes,
People who make no mistakes.get promoted.
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. U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...!
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. Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal
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A little girl to her mother: "Mom! i have come to know the boy next door have a pennes like a peanut"
Mom: " Do you mean its little"
girl: " No Mom! Its salty."
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A man forgot to zip up.So a lady tells him:U LEFT yr GARAGE open.Man asks:DID U C MY BLACK MERC parked INSIDE?No,she said JUST A MINI COOPER with a FLAT TIRE MJAKES
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aik din aik larke na apne mummy ko dekha aur kehne laga dekho mummu aik hath chor kar cycle chala raha hooon thodi daar ke bad wo dubara wahan se guzra aur kehna laga dekho mummy main do hath choor kar cycle chala raha hoon thode daar ke baad wo dobara wahan se guzra aur kehne laga dekho mummy main do dantoon ke baghar cycle chala raha hoon dilawar
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wife - suniye kya aap kitchen se garam masala la kar aayenge
husband - magar yahan to nahin hai
wife-- mujha pata tha tumha nahin mila ge is liya main pehla se la aaye baghwan !!!!!!!!!
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costomer- whose eggs is this
shopkeeper - its mine
costomer - ok so give me one dozen of chicken s eggs
