What do you call a wife who is sexy,
beautiful,intelligent,understanding,
caring, never jealous and a great cook?
ANSWER : A rumour!
_____________________________________________________
Husband asks,Do u know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Evrytime!
WIFE on hearing this says,
it could also mean-With Idiot For Ever.
_____________________________________________________
Early to bed and early to rise makes ur girlfriend go out with other guys.
A Train is bout2 crash. A frantic virgin strips off n says:
A Train is bout2 crash. A frantic virgin strips off n says:
'' Can anyone make me feel like a woman b4 I die?''
So a man takes off his clothes n say,''Iron these!''
_____________________________________________________
A woman goes 2 a dentist 4 tooth extraction
doc tells her 2 lie down and gets ready with tools
lady lifts her skirt,doc says im not a gynacologist im dentist
she says i want to get my hubbys tooth removed
_____________________________________________________
Mother to Teenage Daughter : "I think its time that we should talk about SEX."
Daughter : "Yes Mom, What do You want to know ?".
_____________________________________________________
what's common between the SUN & WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR?
1) both are hott
2) both look better while going down
3) both disappear by night............
Patient : I always see spots before my eyes.
Patient : I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor : Didn't the new glasses help?
Patient : Sure, Now i see the spots much clearer.!!
_____________________________________________________
Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa...
Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon!!
_____________________________________________________
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn't notice."
_____________________________________________________
Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!
_____________________________________________________
Man:what is million years to u?
God:only a second.
Man:what is billion of Dollar.to u?
God:only a Coin.
Man:ok give me a Coin.
God:wait a second....
_____________________________________________________
sardar ji to his friend: Yar bari ushkil main hoon mairi bivi mujh say aik kiss ka 100 RS laiti hay ..... friend: acha, yar to bara lucky hay doosron say to wo 500RS laiti hay.
_____________________________________________________
Husband to a newly wed Wife.I could go to the end of the worldfor u,, wife thanks, but promise me u will stay there.By Saba
_____________________________________________________
A sardar was running with his pregnent wife,who was about to deliver, when another sardar asked him, O pernam singh, oye woti nu ais haal vitch le ke kithey puj rya vain, pernam singh replied,assi Pizza hut chaley aan, sunya aa othey free delivery hondi aaa.
_____________________________________________________
behind every SUCCESSFUL woman, there is a SATISFIED man,but behind a SATISFIED woman there is an EXHAUSTED man...
Acute Angina
A man to cardiologist, How dare u tell my wife that she has a cute Vagina, Doctor, stupid, i told her that she has acute Angina.
_____________________________________________________
A boy and gal of 5th class asked teacher "kya chote bachoon ke bhi bache hoote
hain"? teacher nahin kabhi nahin " boy said to girl-dekha aur tu aise hi dar rahi thi".
_____________________________________________________
Musharraf said to his mother. Ammi mari B.V , M.M.A walon sey meli hoi hai! Jab bhe kamray main jata hoon kehti hai wardi utaro.
_____________________________________________________
75yrz old man got married with a girl of 15 yrz old. At marriage nite they both r crying cuz Girl don't know anything and an old man hav 4gotten evrythng.
_____________________________________________________
Which Type Of Woman Is Yours?
HARD-DISK Woman:She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Woman:She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Woman:Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
EXCEL Woman:They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use for your four basic needs.
SCREENSAVER Woman:She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Woman:Difficult to access.
SERVER Woman:Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Woman:She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Woman:She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Woman:Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Woman:Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expec
_____________________________________________________
A husband was stung by a bee on his penis and it became swollen. His wife prayed, "Oh God may you remove off the pain and leave the size as it is.
_____________________________________________________
Maid cleaning bedroom found a used condom and kept looking at it. Madam asked dont you have sex in the village, Maid "Yes we do but not till the skin drops off.
_____________________________________________________
who is stronger man or woman?
Anser?
A woman coz she lifts two mountain on her chest while man lifts his crane with the help of 2 stones.
Why do Couples hold hands on Wedding Day?
Ques : Why do Couples hold hands on Wedding Day?
Ans : Just for Formality, like 2 Boxers shaking hands before Fight!!
_____________________________________________________
Girls Hostel ki light chali gayi.
Ek ladki ne electric office me phone karke kaha:
Light chali gayi hai, aadmi bhejo.
Replied "Aadmi nahi hai, mombatti se kaam chala lo."
_____________________________________________________
chota sardar:mummy kal raat ko,phir maine bathroom ka darvaja khola toh light apne aap jal gaye.mummy:kaminey phir tune fridge main susu ki!
_____________________________________________________
Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was a huge rush, the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved
_____________________________________________________
Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas.So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji..could you tell methe time difference between Patna and Las Begas...". . The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you"and puts the phone down
_____________________________________________________
At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender ,"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS,SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Lalooreplies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIEDBy kunjava
_____________________________________________________
After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modeling. Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION !! "Laloo, third from left!"
_____________________________________________________
Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we willturn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very surprised."You Japanese are very inefficient" he stated. "Give me three days and Iwill turn Japan into the next Bihar!"
_____________________________________________________
A Wife is sleeping in the middle of the night, she suddenly shouts: "Get up quickly my hasband is here!!!"
the man gets up from the bed, jumps out the window, hurts himslef and then realizes "Damn, I am the hasband!!!"
Who's guilty in the situation?????????????By Forever