Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to.
Mashook: Ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye main doobonga to sahara dega cidny
_____________________________________________________
JUST IMAGINE...
life without girls.
result=markets silent,streets empty,police at rest, All mobile companies in loss,no sms,no flowers, no valentiens,no candels, no perfumes, no travelling, ALL THE MEN DIRECT TO HEAVEN ...
_____________________________________________________
One day a lady coming from from a womans meeting said to her husban ntate bare njwale re ya lekana and the husband replied ba le file marente na? siya
_____________________________________________________
Man: please give me black colour condom
shopkeeper:why black colour condom????
man:my friend's dead so i want to share the sadness with his wife tomorrow night love_ever
_____________________________________________________
The more you study. the more you know,
The more you know. The more you forget,
The more you forget. The less you know,
So why study?
_____________________________________________________
A woman goes to a doctor & said: doctor! can u make another hole near my v--na?
Dr: why?
woman: bussines is doing good, so i'm planing to open a new branch
_____________________________________________________
Teacher asked Chotta Sardar:What is answer 7+3? Sardar:counted in his fingers. Techr: It not allowed.Sardr Put it down the hands in his Pocket, And tell the answer is "11"
_____________________________________________________
Mukesh sais to Anil Ambani:"I wnt to kiss ur wife". Anil replied: "Ok but 40paisa per min" anil wife shouted "don't cheat him. Reliance to reliance free.
_____________________________________________________
2)life before marriage is AIRTEL-aisi agadi aur kaha! After marriage is HUTCH- whenever go network follows u. but after 5 years life is notreachable.
_____________________________________________________
School- a place where papa pays & son plays.
Life insurance- a contract tht keeps you poor all ur
Life so tht you can die rich.
Nurse- a person wakes up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage- a contract in which a boy loses his.
Bachelors degree & girl gets her masters degree.
_____________________________________________________
a sardar was working 1st time in a garment shop.
a customer GIRL asks:underwear dikhana'
sardar thora sharma ker: g aaj pehna nahi ha.
_____________________________________________________
POROZA
first prisoner:What were you convicted for?
Second prisoner:Nothing.
First prisoner:Honestly...for nothing.I stole a wallet, but there was nothing in it?
_____________________________________________________
Cops were spreading the message:"No more street vendors."A Venda woman said 2 de cops:"Why only Vendas,what about street Tsongas,street Zulus & the rest?"
_____________________________________________________
Paroo Nay Kahaa 200 looon gee hill hill kay dooon gee.
kanjuse shahrukh nay kahaa 100 doon ga main khud hill loon gaa.
parooo nay kaha 100 bhe bachalay haath say hillaa lay..........!
_____________________________________________________
SCIENTISTS hav done tests & concluded th@, if a man sleeps wth a Chinese woman wthout a condom, he is likely to have AIDS but it won;t last bcos it's FONG KONG
_____________________________________________________
God apun se bola, "KIDHAR JANE KA "
Jannat Ya Dozakh !
Apun boola " DOZAKH "
U know apun aisa q bola?
Bcoz apun ko maloom k tum sala dost log
wahin mile ga......!!!:-)
_____________________________________________________
SON;papa kiya ap kabhi EGYPT gaye he?
PAPA;nahi beta,kyo kiya hua
SON;to phir ye ap itni khof naak
MUMMY kaha se laye he
ALWAYS REMEMBER ME
_____________________________________________________
A mans occupation
is 2 stick his coqulation
up a womens ventalation
2 increase the population
of the younger generation
if ya wanna demonstration
please lie down
_____________________________________________________
Full Name: hussain
03216029382
want to hear a dirty joke!!!!
2 pigs jumped in mud
want to hear a clean joke!!!!
they took a bath...
_____________________________________________________
Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar AA raha hai....
ghar ke sab khilone chhupa de.
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, who apne khilone pahechan lega.
_____________________________________________________
Full Name: SAMEER
BROTHER: BAHN MERE DOST AYE HAI CHAI BANA DO
SISTER: NAHI ME NAHI BANA RAHI
BROTHER: BANA DE JAB TERE YAR AYENGE TAB ME BANA DOUNGA
_____________________________________________________
Ravand had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman!
You have only 2 eyes.......
But you sight every woman. Now who is Ravand?
_____________________________________________________
Full Name:
Wife: kaash main newspaper hoti dinbhar tumhare hathon me rehti
Hus: meri bhi yahi dua hai rab se issi bahane her din nayi nayi to milti.
_____________________________________________________
SEND YOUR GIRLFRND 2 ME
&
GET A CHILD FREE!!
_____________________________________________________
HURRY UP 1ST TEN ENTRIES WILL GET TWINS
YOU CAN B ONE OF LUCKY MAN!!!
_____________________________________________________
make ur luv to galfrnd on valentine day she will tell u a gud news on mothers day then u will hav a child on childrens day dont try this on everyone u will hav a bad news on 1 dec
_____________________________________________________
Full Name: lamba
close ur eyes when u think u were ugly.......
after all u will live in dark
_____________________________________________________
aik larki darzi ki dukan pa jati hai aur pochti hai, G yah galay miltay hain?Darzi:waisay galay miltay tou nahi hain laykin ap kahti hain tou mil laytay hain.
_____________________________________________________
Full Name: Ahsan 0321-8666122
When u fall in love there is no power to stop u,
But only one power that can stop u?
Guess what????
"Abbey di juttian"..
_____________________________________________________
Full Name: Codename 147
A question was asked from inzi we have heard your wife had baby, Inzi: first of all thanks to ALLAH, credit goes to boys they really worked hard its a team effort especially afridi.
_____________________________________________________
Full Name: muskan
curcuit-hey mammu papad aur jhapat mein kya fark hai
MAMMu-nahi pata
curcuit_to kha ke dekhle pata chal jayega
_____________________________________________________
Full Name: muskan
MAMMU-ye chand to raat mein nikalta hai aj din mein kaise nikal gaya
GIRL-ullu to raaat mein bolta hai aaj din mein kaise bol pada`
_____________________________________________________
curcuit-bhai bapu(gandhiji) ne bola tha ki kabhi jhoot nahi bolneka,aaj se apun bhi jhoot nahi bolega
MUNNA BHAI-hey curcuit wo sunita ka baap ayela hai tereko dhund reyla hai
CURCUIT-bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai kheti karneko
MUNNA BHAI-pan abhi to tu bola ki kabhi jhoot nahi bolega
CURCUIT-apun jhoot nahi bolega par tu to bol sakta hai na
_____________________________________________________
11 Galz ask the fruit seller to give us 11 bananas.Fruit seller:I'll not sell less then 12 bananas.1 Gal said:le le yar,1 kha lein gy.
_____________________________________________________
Teacher:batao Gandhi jee kaise paida huye?
boy:indian govt says "I.S.I is fully involved in dis tragedy".Kehti hai"I.S.I na banti Gandhi jee ka janm na hota"
_____________________________________________________
75yrz old man got married with a girl of 15 yrz old. At marriage nite they both r crying cuz Girl don't know anything and an old man hav 4gotten evrythng Shahbaz Jani
_____________________________________________________
jab gabbar paifa hua tab uski maa ne use 2-3 thappad lagaye
fateher-kya hua?
kambakht peda hote hi puch raha tha kitne admi the muskan
_____________________________________________________
ek din mirinda aur 7up ladne lage jab pepsi ne poocha applogh kyun ladh rahe hoo, tu mirinda aur 7up ne pepsi se kaha sale kale tu apna kaam kar.
_____________________________________________________
Girl to Mom: "Is it true that Babies come out from the same place where Boys put their P---S?"
Mom: "Yes"
Girl: "Wow! My Baby will come out from my mouth"
Boys say it's great, boys say it's fine.
9 months later they say it's not mine !
montu
Kisi VAKEEL s pyar mat karna vo kahega"I OBJECT" Kisi DOCTOR S pyar mat karna vo kahega "NEXT" Pyar karna TEACHER Se kahega"DO IT 5Times"
_____________________________________________________
Xiteez
Teacher:Name
5 polar Animals ?
student:Raindeer
n
his
3
brothers..........
n
a
sister........
3 sardar where going on a motor cycle. policeman gives hand to stop sardar shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kaha bethega...!
_____________________________________________________
montu
God apun se puchha,kidhar jana mangta? SWARG YA NARK? Apun bola NARK! Apun janta,tum saala dost log udharich milega. Aur jidhar tum log,woich apun ka swarg;-)
_____________________________________________________
Aamir
always keep a picture of ur wife in ur wallet look at it when u r in trouble u will feel that other problems r not as big as this one
_____________________________________________________
lady drinking coke, machar falls in .
lady take it out ,
machar says ;maaaaaaaa
lady ask why u did u call me maaaaaaaaaaaa
machar says mien teri kook(COKE) se nikla hon maaaaaaaaaaaaa
_____________________________________________________
girl:aamir u will try to kiss me ,
mien shor macha don gi,
boy:likan yaha tu door door tak koi nahien hay.
girl:i know but formilty tu karni hi pare gi
_____________________________________________________
teacher: anita ne gass kai : is ka future tens batao?
sardar student: anita kal dhood degi hahahaha
_____________________________________________________
It is said that inzamam don't understand english. Once a commentrator asked,"hey inzi your wife had a baby last week, is this true"? Inzi said "Bismillah Hirrehman Nira Raheem first of all i thak to Allah and then credit goes to all boys, they really worked hard especially Afridi do very well if they continue we can have another chance.
_____________________________________________________
aj ki taza khabar 10 ko bewkoof banaya. . .
plz press down 4 details. . .
Ab ki taza khabar 11 ko bewkoof banaya...
_____________________________________________________
a guy & his girlfriend were bored anb had nothing 2 do,de guy suggested:'let's play a little game,i'll b chiefs and u b pirates.de girl protested:no no,u just want 2 f**ck me..// vutomi
_____________________________________________________
man1:did u know that more than 97% of the ppl have tv's than bathtubs??...
man2: which proves that more brains are washed than bodies... Anopheles
_____________________________________________________
woman:"last night i dreamt of u buying me a diamond necklace"
man:"tonight, go to sleep and enjoy wearing it"
0736655089
_____________________________________________________
A mobile is like women :- TALKS NON-STOP, COSTS A FORTUNE, DISTURBS WHEN UR BUSY AND WHEN U NEED THEM URGENTLY THEY HAVE NO SERVICE..
_____________________________________________________
Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.
_____________________________________________________
Boy asks: Tute hue dil se pyar karogi, ya dil tutne tak pyar karogi.
Girl replies: Tute hue sandal se pitoge ya sandal ke tutne tk pitoge..
_____________________________________________________
A Nurse come in Doc's Room.
Docs Asks: Why is ur one Boob out of ur Shirt?
Nurse ans:
Oh! These medical students never keep the things at place after use.
_____________________________________________________
a baby boy & baby girl making bath in bath tab.
baby Girl saw down of boy and asked.
can i touch your peen,
OH NO NEVER.
you have already broken your own
_____________________________________________________
Pledge of BOYS - India is our nation,girls r our destination, dating is our occupation, flirting is our proffesion,to hell with education...
_____________________________________________________
Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge..
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao...
_____________________________________________________
Boy to girl in romantic mood"Mug sa Shadi karoo gi?" She reply "dakhee thi achi film hay"
_____________________________________________________
Boy to girl"Yaar aag kaal shahre sa texiya katam hoo gayee hay" She reply
" kiya kare bai Riksha jo chalne shoroo hoo gaye hay"
_____________________________________________________
Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar kar ke, Ghar ja raha tha ke achanak bijli, Chamki, Badal garje, Zor se barish shuru hoi, Aadmi bola lagta hai pahunch gai.
_____________________________________________________
8 years boy caught in RAPE case. Lady lawyer holds his penis & says UR HONOUR see him, can he RAPE? Boy silently: HILA MAT WARNA CASE HAAR JAYEGI SANIA
_____________________________________________________
no men no women no women no love no love no sex no sex no children no children no school no school no homework no homework no problems!
_____________________________________________________
Class main ek larki biskit kha rahi thi thora kha k breziar ma chupa liya,
Sir ne pucha ye kya kr rahe ho sat wala bola dood ma dabo dabo k kha rahe ha
_____________________________________________________
Girls hostel ki light chali jatti hai ek larki complain office phone karti hai "Light chali gai hai" "Aadmi bnaijo Replied" "Aadmi nahi hai mombati se kaam chalao" SANIA
_____________________________________________________
Jis dor may telephone digital nahe hua kartay thay CLI nahe aya tha, us waqt log police stations phone kar kay police walon ko abusing kartay thay. Aisay hee dore main aik larkay nay thanay phone kia
Larka: hello kon?
SHO: SHO thana bola khan speaking.
Larka: Ap kay hath main is waqt kia hay?
SHO : Danda
Larka: Ussay apni G***D may lay lo
SHo bara gussa hua, Exchange phone kia aur number manga kay kahan say phone aya tha, aaaddhay ghantay bad number mila SHO nay call kee to koi aur awaz sunai dee
SHO : hello is number say mujhay abhee kisi bachay nay phone kia tha aur abusing kee hay main SHO thana bola khan bol raha hoon, aapka larka bara bat tammez hay issay kuch tamez sikhaen.
FAther: ohhh sory lekin us nay kahan kia tha?
SHO: Kehta tha kon ho mai nay kaha SHO bola hath mai kia hay may nay kahan Danda, kehta tha G***D may lay lo
FATHER: Ohhhhh sory , wesay kitnay dair pehlay kee baat hay?
SHO aadha ghanta
FATHER: to phir ab bahir nikaal lo :
