When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!
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One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.
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When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition...!!! ....
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Fill in the blank...Im ur .....friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-Best of all Reply is a must...
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Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each,G-Girl,E-Equally......Thats why boys go to college regularly....
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Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No... 1.-----I dont have brain... 2.-----I dont have sence... 3.-----I am stupid....
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If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round....Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P...
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Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!
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what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg: welcome 2 D jungle network,D monkey u r tring 2 call is on tree plz try later.
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First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering
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Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky...then i thought where the fuck is my roof
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Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!
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If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food
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I'm a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend
I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!
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Its been a rough day.I got up this morning,put on a shirt N a button fell off.I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off.I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom
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Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster
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At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on
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The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
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i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again
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An independant study has proven dat those who have a bad sex life & who are crap in bed are readin dis message in their right hand!
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I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss
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girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!
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God made man and then rested
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
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MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??
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This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!
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><(((:>I send dis fish as a sign of friendship Plz take care of it & keep it in mobile & daily put ur mobile in water so tat fish wont DIE:-)
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One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message. He angried and called to rani.She told stupid "This was a missed call"
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can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need it. please help me out, i know you have it, i wil return it .a sardar asks to ATM machine???????
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terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers... and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene... plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.
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Dear user,your wife can become mother without your struggle!Just SMS 'CHILD' or call customer care at 9890****** & be a tension-free DAD!
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A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)of their son,but they dont know proper word to print,so they printed the wording :THE CUTTING CEREMONY OF FUCKING INSTRUMENTS:
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Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving,Husband:please slow down the speed of car.Wife:No ;please. No; please NopleaseNopls..Husband:the Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in case of axident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh...
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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !
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girl friends are like mobile phone, whenever you want happiness just check inbox, whenever u want to cry check out box, and whenever u want to enjoyment just plug in your charger and enjoy.
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Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever.
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PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu
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MAMU :Oye, maar gayea yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hain.
MAMU KA DOST :Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
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MAMU :Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL :Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
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Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master .
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Love affairs:Something like cricket,
where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
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Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother
tongue.?
Santa: Very long!
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Mujhe SMS karo aur pao Bumper prize. 19" TV ka diba, Dubai janey wale jahaz ko TA TA karney ka mauqa,10 lakh wali car ka Photo,ek Dinner wo bhi aap ke ghar....
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Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!!!!!
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Dosti Kro College wali se
Dosti kro college wali se, Ishq larao office wali se, Flirt kro pros wali se, Pyar kro dilwali se, ankh larao sali se, aur maar khao ger wali se.
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Jaate hue kuch aisa kar ke jayo kaam -Eng Trans. Do such kind of doings before leaving to HELL :-)
ki har galli se awaaz aaye..."ABBA JAAN"..." ABBA JAAN" Eng Trans. that from every street, every one saying "Oh Dad"... "Oh Dad"
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ek jungle mein chuhay se sab dartey the,
agar sher us k samnay aa jata to dar kar bhaag jaata,
haathi bhi kahin chup jata,
aas paas k log yeh dekh kar preshaan huay or kaha aakhir kia maajra hai,
pata chala chuha MQM mein tha.
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Itna Khubsurat kese muskuralete ho...?
Itna Katil Kese Sharmalete Ho.....?
Bachpan Se kameene Ho .....?
Ya Shakal Ayisy banalete Ho ...?
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When I was born Devil said..
When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition
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GIRL FRIEND IS FOR FUN,WIFE IS FOR SON, GIRL FRIEND IS NIGHT PARTNER,WIFE IS LIFE PARTNER, GIRL FRIEND IS TOOTY FRUITY WHILE WIFE IS QISMATH POOTI
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Teacher: tumhari abhi pitae karti ho nakhoon(nails) q nahee katay?
Student: M,m,m,m,miss ma to subha roz kattaa ho par van ka driver itni slow drive karta hai k rastay ma he nails bar jatay hai
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Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note mama'
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A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....
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2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!
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Ek Hathi Agar Nadi Me Kudta Hai To Kya Hoota Hai.....?.....?....?Socho.....?Are Hathi Gilla Ho Jata Hai.....
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1 sardar 2 another sardar;yaar kal tumhein bas mein thaper kyon para;sardar replied;yaar meri tasveer larki ke qadmon mein gir gye thi.mein ne kaha behn jee zara saari
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Bari Barsi Khtan Gya Te Khat ke Liyande Kher.......Jera 5 min de ander menu SMS na kare ooooooooo apni mashook da veeeer. BOLO TARA RA RA
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terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers... and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene... plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.
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can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need it. please help me out, i know you have it, i wil return it .a sardar asks to ATM machine???????
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One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message. He angried and called to rani.She told stupid "This was a missed call"
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Hamaare Dil ke arman aansuon me beh gaye,
Hum gali me thay gali me reh gaye,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Kambakhat light chali gayi,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Jo baat unse kehni thi wo unki mummy se keh gaye..
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Andhe ke hath me "TORCH",
Bihre ke hath me "RADIO",
Gunge ke hath me "MIKE",
AUR AAP KE HATH ME "MOBILE"
WAH WAH Kya Zamana Aaya hai!!!
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Hontho se jo choo liya,
Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
Aankhe Nam hai,
Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain...
Aur Q na ho... Khayi Bhi to 'HARI Mirchi...'-hai
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Arzo hai unki galiyon ke chakkar kaat kaatte
kutte hamare yaar ho gaye,
wo to hamare na ho sake par hum
kutton ke sardar ho gaye..
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Mere Marne ke baad aey dost aansoo mat bahana...
agar yaad aaye meri to seedhe upar chale aana...
Agar waha me na dikhu to samajh lena tu narag me hai
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Aaj kuch gahbraye se lagte ho,Thand mein kampkapaye se lagte ho... Nikhar kar aayi hai surat aapki,Bahut dino baad nahaye se lagte ho..
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Gulaab ko bhi Kamal bana dete,Uski ek Ada pe Kai gazal bana dete...Kambhakt marti nahi mujh par larkiyaan,Warna LUCKNOW me bhi TAJMAHAL bana dete
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the hero of TITANIC went to court to prove that he is the most HANDSOME,SWEET&SMART guy on the arth but he failed. he came out angrily & ask. yaar ye ILYAS kon hai
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HAR KHUSI KO TERI TARAF MOD DENGE, TERE LIYE CHAND TARE TOR DENGE, TERE LIYE KHUSIYON KE DARVAAZE KHOL DENGE, 1 BAAR HAS KE TO DIKHO TERE SAARE DAANT TOR DENGE HA..HA..H
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A 60 year old bachelor advertizes his zaroorat-e-rishta in newspaper. After a month, he gets a letter saying, "Miyan! Is umar mein farishtey aatey hain, rishtey nahin."
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Maine kaha "Dil Ruba"
Usne kaha balance bhijwa
Maine kaha "Paise Nahi"
Usne kaha "Kaise nahi"
Maine kaha "Mehangai Hai"
Usne kaha "Ja aaj se tu mera bhai ha
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ek sardar darvaze k bahir bandook liye khra tha,his wife askes him"y r u standing here".sardar ji bole"sher k shikar pe ja raha hoon.wife"to jaao na!sardar ji"kese jaoon bahir KUTA khra he...!
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maine pucha chand se k kahin dekha hai mere yar sa hasin.....chand ne kaha ullu k pathe itni upar se kiya dikhta hai koi
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Rabri : age jante hain raat me belli pura dudhwa p jati hai.
Lalu : tumko kyee bar bole hain ki raat me baluj ka button lga kr soya kar.
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Sardar was standing without a shirt, a friend say's wah Sardar g barri fit chest hey tuhaday, Sardar proudly replies; oye haley tey tu apni parjayee de nahi vekhe.
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Arre deewano mujay pehchano.
Kahan say aya main............?
May kon hoon?
May kon hoon?
May kon hoon?
May kon hoon?
?
?
?
?
number dekh k pata nahi lagda.
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We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........
Searching.......
Searching.......
Still searching........
Sorry,
No brain found !!!
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We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die."
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Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?
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roses are red, violets are blue,
Frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????
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1- U r a nice person.
2- line one is true.
3- line 2 is false if line 1 is true.
4- both 2&3 are true.
5- all 4 r false.
tension hoi???
ab dosro ko do.
